Start before you are ready
Hello darlings!
How the hell is everyone doing this December?? How did that happen???
Before I get to the nitty gritty, Kelly and I are hosting a special mini writing retreat in April in Houston. Come write for 3 days / 2 nights in community, with goal setting and encouragement. Get shit done at the hardest part of the semester to get shit done! Details are here.
Second, do you have a burning question to ask me but are too embarrassed / awkward / concerned to put your name to it? Want to suggest a topic for a newsletter? Want to tell me how cool you think I am (JOKING). Great. Here’s a NGL AMA for you: Ask Me Anything! An anonymous comment box. I might use your questions for an MHAWS! I might post my thoughts on Bluesky! Who knows! Ask away!
It’s almost 2025. What the fuck.
Past Decembers MHAWS have covered:
(this was surprisingly popular with y’all!)
This year let’s talk about getting going for 2025 before it even starts!
One of my most annoying habits (to me, to others) is that I’m a PLANNER (I mean, duh) and that means that I not only want to plan waaaay far in advance but I also want to start prepping for future things TODAY. We might go on a trip in October 2025? Great, here’s a spreadsheet with 26 options. I miiiiggghttt want to bake cookies this weekend? All the ingredients are already in the cart (okay, enough about my weird ass shit)
A big part of this – for me – is that I have a strong START BEFORE YOU ARE READY approach to life.
This means that December is my trail period for the stuff that I want to implement to make my life better in 2025. Why a trial period? Well, I fucking hatteessss when I set bad goals. So I want a little pre-test of these goals to make sure that I am doing it right.
Example: I knew I wanted to have a yearly “exercise minutes” goal last year, but was nervous about the level. I want it to be something I reach for but not demoralizing. Easy to track but not fussy! In December 2023, I tried out tracking weekly minutes (NOPE) or having a daily goal (too easy to fail!). After these trials, I settled on a monthly goal that increases each month if I meet the previous month’s goal and it has worked soooo well to encourage me to move my body. But without pre-testing, I would have probably done weekly goals and then abandoned it half way through the year because it was too fucking hard to track.
So what am I trying out in December? What should you try out? It might not surprise you, but I start with some questions for myself:
How can I integrate more joy, play, and irreverence into my life?
Every year, I try to think: what is something that I love that I want to do more of? And then I set a goal to do that. 2024’s goal was to drink champagne 50 times (I’m at 45! Don’t worry, I’ll get there). I also committed to the yogurt and fruit bowl, but that’s continuing on because I love it so much. In the past, this has included cake and ice cream and fika. Next year – will it be to eat more international gummy candy? Get massages regularly? I’ll be testing this out in the rest of the month to get ready.
But I also want to value play and fun and irreverence and spontaneity in my life. So I’m using December to say yes to social and fun and silly things that I might not normally commit to and then will try to bring that forward in my life.
What do I want more of in my life? What do I want less of?
Every winter solstice, I write out what the things are that I want more and less of in my life. From that, I think about my goals for the next year. But I also start thinking about this earrrly on and taking little notes of what I like and don’t like. I’m really really lucky in that I like SO MUCH of my life and the shit I have to complain about is pretty minor.
Here are some things that I really like right now:
Working collaboratively with coauthors (that I like)
New projects
My partner and pets
Meeting cool people
Travel
My friends
Things I don’t like:
Freeloaders
Email
Some of the people I interact with
Not seeing my friends
What are some things I can put into practice right now to help do more of this? Well, I scheduled work days with two coauthors, I set up regular meetings starting in January with another two teams, and I am working SO HARD to be done with a project where one coauthor annoys the shit out of me. I am scheduling time with friends: calls, meet-ups, zooms, all of it.
How can I be healthy and productive and not annoyed as all fuck about it?
Y’all know that I am a strong believer in accountability and goals and habits. But also, I need systems that will help me do the good things I want to do. Drinking water and stretching regularly and writing without checking social media are good and easy but also feel very hard and boring. So what systems can I set up that will help me do these things? Is it a new planner? A new habits app? (I’m trying out tiktik right now and liking it but who the hell knows). Is it a reminder to quit work at 5pm every day? I’m trying these out so I can roll into the new year with something that isn’t going to make me want to dropkick my phone.
But you do you, boo
This is what works for me! Maybe you hate NY resolutions (I’m married to one of those people). Maybe thinking about 2025 stresses you the fuck out. Maybe you want the surprise and delight of seeing whether you are going to fail at your goals? That’s all fine! Go get after whatever is going to make the rest of your 2024 amazing.
XOXOX
Mirya