Questions for the end of the year

Hello darlings!

Are you ready to close out 2021 with a fucking bang? Let’s do this!

A brief reminder! I’m doing a fundraiser. Prizes are hanging out with me at conferences or zooming with me. Donate to an abortion access, mutual aid, or bail project organization and email your receipt to mhaws.ama@gmail.com to be entered.

I like to do an end-of-the-year accounting to think about what I’ve learned and what behaviors I’m going to try to change in the next year. Here are the questions I ask myself:

1. Who showed up for me? Who didn't? How should I change my relationships next year to account for this?

Here, I list specific people out as those who stood up for me, encouraged me, supported me, and defended me. And I make another list of those who did not do these things when they had the opportunity to do so. The first list gets rewards in my currency: citations, amplification, sponsorship, thank you notes, kudos, retweets, and support back to them. The second list gets written in my “people I want to punch in the face” book. I’ll try to never cite them again. You might think I’m joking. I am not.

As I think about individuals who lift me up (and those who don’t), I imagine a future where I can surround myself with those who support me, who challenge me to be a better version of myself, who I can learn from and grow with, who celebrate me in all my extra-ness. How can we lift each other up together?

2. What did I do that I loved? What did I do that I hated? How can I practice doing more of what I love and less of what I hate?

Isn’t this the fucking question of our grown-ass lives? Turns out, being an adult means doing shit we hate all the fucking time! The dishwasher needs to be unloaded again? WHAT THE FUCK. We have to do a lot of shit like this. But we do have choices! What are the pieces of our lives that brought joy? For me, that’s working with people I like, doing research on projects that challenge me, time with my coven, and mentoring students. It is hanging with people and creatures I love, drinking cocktails, and going on adventures. It is NOT answering emails or going to pointless meetings. Maybe you get joy from designing policies or firing people or snickering about the asshats in your department and their shirt choices. Whatever it is, ask yourself: how can I minimize the suckatude and maximum the good shit?

3. How did having boundaries help me in 2021? How can I improve these boundaries or create new ones?

Having boundaries is really fucking hard but they pay dividends in mental health, productivity, and happiness. We traditionally think about boundaries as mostly about personal relationships, but they can also apply to our professional lives. For me, boundaries about email, other people’s demands on my time, and who gets my attention have been really helpful in 2021. 2022 promised to be a year where I am even shittier at answering emails, where I’m even more selective in who gets my time. Get ready!

4. How did I care for myself in 2021? How can I replicate or extend those acts of care in 2022?

For me, caring for myself in 2021 included taking care of my body and my mind. Regular exercise, spending time outside, extensive vacations, not working on the weekends or at night, and seeing a therapist all represent me caring for myself. How can I do more of that in 2022?

5. What did I find enjoyable, rewarding, and invigorating about being an academic? A political scientist? A scholar of gender and politics / local politics / environmental politics / methods? How can I make these spaces more enjoyable for me?

I really enjoy hanging out with my people. I like reviewing. I like thinking about class design. I love learning new shit. That means organizing workshops, writing retreats, and get-togethers with my academic friends. Attending conferences because I LIKE NERDY PEOPLE AND WANT TO BE AROUND THEM. Giving talks. Working out on zoom w friends. Regular calls with friends. Even social media (really!) because it lets me feel connected to my coven. So – 2022 is going to involve more of this! More time with friends! More reviews! More writing! More learning!

How can you celebrate your wins of 2021? What can you do to set yourself up for joy, success, and aggressive winning in 2022? Let’s do this!

XOXOX

Mirya