When to call it quits
(I’m not quitting you! (yet!)
Hello darlings!
How the hell has everyone’s fall been? That good huh? Good news / bad news: it is almost 2023! So let’s finish this year out strong (whatever that means for you!)
Let’s talk about quitting!
This is my final post of 2022, so I’m also going to encourage you to think about what you should quit doing in the new year! Let’s quit our meetings, drop our shitty collaborations, set down our expectations for our own bullshit, quit accepting less than we deserve. Let’s leave behind our tolerance of sexism and racism and elitism. Drop that shit. Drop the weight of others’ expectations. Move on, lighter, happier, stronger.
Want to consider some other end of the year questions? Here’s my post last year about the questions you should ask yourself at the end of the year:
Quitting is hard. Seriously.
Quitting is often about setting good boundaries. As I have said before, setting boundaries is really hard but it is also really important. Boundaries say: this is the line and if you cross the line, I will quit this situation.
Quitting doesn’t mean that you are a bad person or weak or lazy. Quitting is actually a sign that you are a badass who knows what you need. Telling someone you are done is an act of bravery.
Quitting is going to produce pushback. It is often easier to pretend that you haven’t quit than to actually quit because when you quit, people try to talk you out of it. As a result, if you don’t respect the people that you need to quit, it might be easier to actually quiet quit and just fade away.
How do you know when to quit something?
It is dangerous? To your physical or mental health? Get the fuck out!
Is it making you deeply unhappy? Can you not imagine a path forward where you will enjoy it? Then Q.U.I.T.
It is useless? Is it a horrible suck of your time without any fucking payoff? Can you quiet quit it?
Is it violating your morals or ethics? Drop that shit!
Does it push you to engage in old patterns and behaviors that you want to leave behind? STAWP IT
How do you actually quit, though? This shit is hard!
Practice! If you need to quit a project or a task and need to tell someone you are quitting, practice how to do it!
Get backup: ask friends to read emails, role play, and give feedback
When in doubt, don’t offer super lengthy explanations
Set healthy boundaries and you will need to quit less
Stop saying yes to shit you hate and you won’t have to quit it later
Some of you might have noticed that I quit Twitter! Why? Because I just can’t contribute to that hellscape anymore. Everyone has a line. Mine was M*sk inviting DJT back on. So, I’m over on Mastadon, being bored. Join me if you’d like! Make it more interesting for me! PLEASE. Here’s an invite link if you need it: https://mastodon.social/invite/woFtHiPu. The good(?) news for y’all is that I’ve decided to keep MHAWS and drop Twitter, not vice versa! That means… if you are still on Twitter, please feel free to tweet this shit out :)
XOXOXO
Mirya
Want to compensate Mirya for her MHAWS labor? Buy her a coffee here. Want to rock some MHAWS merch? Find it here!