Hello darlings!
We are back, with a bang!
First: the biannual, three-question survey that helps me decide what to write about in the garbage fire of a newsletter. Check it out here – I’d appreciate your thoughts!
Second: what anti-racist work have you done in July? What are your plans for anti-racist work in August? Let’s burn some racist & sexist organizations down, my loves!
Third: have you ever wondered what zodiac sign your academic productivity looks the most like? Of course, you haven't!
But I did! This doesn't necessarily mean that a) any of this is accurate, b) this aligns with your actual astrological sign, or c) any of this is worth anything. Ready? Let's get to it! I can't swear on the Buzzfeed quiz,
Two options:
1. Here's a totally 100% not scientific quiz for you to see which star sign is the closest to your *work* style. Take it and come back here to get the full details on what your 'worksign' means for your academic productivity.
2. Sure of your sign? (uh, okay) You can skip the quiz and just read below.
XOXOXOX
Mirya
Aquarius –
Positives: independent, substantive, and outgoing. Practical. Highly intellectual.
Negatives: You hateeessss it when others can’t keep up. When your creative ideas are shunned for being outside the mainstream. When you spin your wheels.
Work advice: Make sure that you find meaning in your work. Choose projects where you want to know the answer or you think the answer will make the world better. Aquarians should embrace ‘me-search’ (and also everyone does fucking me-search and just because white dudes don’t recognize that studying Congress is fucking me-search doesn’t mean it isn’t true).
Your favorite part of any project is the brainstorming phase and the problem-solving phase. Bored with a project? Work on a different part of it or solve a problem to get excited again! Your happy place is when you are solving a problem – think of any challenging piece of your writing as problem solving and it will help you move forward.
You may want to avoid regularly coauthoring because you get irritated when others slow you down. You HATE when other people are dicks for no reason… unfortunately, the dick:non-dick ratio is HIGH in academia. Like unbelievably fucking high.
Hot #MHAWS tip: You will enjoy teaching more if you put less work into it and allow classroom discussions to go where they want. Don’t stress about controlling everything.
Positives: Dedicated. Sensitive. Ambitious. Empathetic. Imaginative.
Negatives: Recognition is really important to you. You have a hard time getting through the slog of projects. You hate it when people tell you what to do all the time.
Work advice: You are a thinker and a dreamer. Sometimes this means that you have trouble getting projects over the finish line, but sometimes it means that you come up with the BEST fucking ideas. Figure out ways to channel your imagination into getting shit done! You look at a 9-5 research schedule and shiver with disgust – why are we academics if we don’t take advantage of the flexible time?
Coauthoring is a mixed bag. You absolutely HATE being micromanaged, so don’t work with a team where people will be up in your business all the time. You also are really affected by the culture of your workplace and of your teams – if other people are struggling, it affects you personally. And if other people are being assholes, you take it really personally. The best option for you might be to work alone, mostly out of the office. Maybe on a tropical island somewhere?
Pro #MHAWS tip: Your empathy makes you a fantastic mentor… but you also get really drained by it. Be careful to guard yourself. You can’t get water from an empty well.
Positives: tenacious. So extra. Enthusiastic. Great leaders. Aries likes to be in the front of the band, leading the parade.
Negatives: Prideful. Too ambitious. Too egotistical
Work advice: Aries like to be leading the pack and have the personality and enthusiasm for it. Your ‘extra’ is so fucking far above anyone else’s extra – sometimes this means that you can get everyone going in the same direction and sometimes it means that people fucking hate you for your extraness. You are highly ambitious and will strike out at those who get in the way of your ambition.
Coauthors: Take them or leave them, as long as they fucking listen to what you have to say. It is VERY important for you to have honest friends and supporters who can keep you rooted and bring you back to earth. You NEED someone to call bullshit on you when they see it. So – find coauthors like that and you are golden!
Pro #MHAWS tip: Get a nemesis. You are competitive – make sure you don’t compete with your friends. Instead, set your sights on a nemesis (or nemeses) whose downfall will inspire your hard work.
Taurus –
Positives: stubborn, grounded, hard working, dependable, straight shooters who can handle pressure
Negatives: crave stability, stubborn, not very adventurous, hates change
Work advice: You are very interested in a stable and predictable life. Sometimes academia gives that to you (hellllo tenure!) and sometimes it does not (hellllooo job market, hellllloooo pandemic, helllloooooo publishing). The trick is to make sure that you find the stable pieces of life, even in an unstable world. Some of those stable pieces might be the writing and research – it is always there for you, whatever other shitstorm is brewing.
Coauthoring: Tauri (don’t ask, it isn’t right but it feels right) balance independence and interdependence, which makes them someone who is great at coauthoring. You will see a project through, even if it fucking SUCKS. Like, you will slog through those middle bits that everyone hates. BUT you also want quite a bit of independence. A coauthorship arrangement where you get to work on your own a lot and sometimes check in with others is going to make you happy.
Pro #MHAWS tip: You are a stubborn SOB – make sure that you are being stubborn about the right things. Be stubborn about your research. But stubborn about advocating for change. Don’t be stubborn about dumb ass shit that just bothers you.
Gemini –
Positives: Complex, team player, can do many different types of work. A multi-tasker. Witty and charming.
Negatives: HATES BOREDOM. Needs stuff to change. Craves a fast-paced environment. Can be flighty or scatter-brained.
Work advice: You are a fickle little bitch, Gemini! This means that you are really good at doing lots of different stuff and really fucking bad at doing the same shit over and over again. Change up the projects you work on or the work you do on those projects to keep yourself interesting. You thrive under pressure, so figure out what kind of accountability you like and make a lot of that for yourself. You’ve got a lot of energy – sometimes it seems endless – but you can get really dragged down by repetition.
Coauthoring: Coauthors sometimes feel abandoned by you if you change abruptly to other projects. You need to communicate what you are doing with them. Find a coauthor who doesn’t mind doing the boring shit and this will be a match made in the heavens!
Pro #MHAWS tip: sometimes people think you are scattered, but you really just want to work on 10 different things for an hour at a time. Give into this impulse.
Cancer –
Positives: Cares deeply for others. Warm, kind, and focuses on helping others succeed. A fantastic teacher.
Negatives: Can be temperamental as hell when times are chaotic, sometimes too sensitive and can have feelings hurt
Work advice: Hello, zodiac momma! Whether or not you actually could bear children, your energy is very maternal. You want to take care of other people. You are highly in tune to the needs of others, so you are really REALLY good at getting shit done with someone is relying on you. Use this to your advantage and promise work to others when you need to get your ass moving. You are really good at multitasking and solving problems (especially other people’s problems).
Coauthoring: You LOVE taking care of other people. This means that you are really good at project management, delegating tasks, and getting others to get excited about the project. At the same time, you can get your feelings hurt by carelessness or callousness when others don’t respect your time or advice. Be up front with your coauthors that you a) want to take care of them and b) you them to take care of you.
Pro-#MHAWS tip: You can EASILY spend all your time teaching – you are incredibly good at it and find it very rewarding. But this will mean that you never get research done (Fuck!). Consider setting up a lab or mentoring students within research to get the best of both worlds.
Leo -
Positives: Takes control, a natural leader. Great in a classroom or giving a talk. Hates gossip. Commands respect.
Negatives: Insecure. Ego-driven. Will respect authority even if it is not deserved. Melodramatic AF
Work advice: When in doubt, Leo, take fucking control. Take ALL the control. Yes, everyone is their own boss in academia, but actually not. You love being the center of attention, which is great in the classroom or in a job talk and less great in a department full of other egotistical assholes.
Coauthors: You are an excellent coauthor – and really enjoy working with other people – AS LONG AS THEY FUCKING LISTEN TO YOU. This is a kicker, right? It may be that your best coauthoring situations are when you are mentoring someone (a student, a junior faculty member) and so can lead. You will be unhappy working with other people who also need to lead and be in the middle of everything.
Pro #MHAWS tip: Leo the lion is really good at telling a story; this is great for the classroom or the seminar talk. But it is also really good for writing – Leos can make even the most boring shit fascinating. Take advantage of this in your writing.
Positives: Analytical, humble, and meticulous. Great work ethic. Rarely makes mistakes. This is the person you want running your replication files!
Negatives: BORING. Prone to anxiety. Nagging. “I know best” attitude.
Work advice: You are super detailed oriented and can really make sure to dot all the is and cross all the ts. You VERY rarely make stupid mistakes (what’s that like, huh?). You can work and work and work at a project, even when it would drive another person batty. At the same time, you are a bit of an asshole about it. You can handle just about anything that comes your way, but it’s REALLY annoying when a project switches direction or deadlines shift. You planned everything already! You aren’t great at socializing and networking – it is a lot of work!
Coauthors: You are a good person for any team, especially given how detail oriented you are. At the same time, you can get really frustrated if people change the rules, change their mind, or don’t do what they said they would do. Coauthors may feel like you nag them a lot – this is *accurate.*
Pro-#MHAWS tip: A clean desk is really fucking important to Virgos. Set aside some time on Friday afternoons to clean your desk, desktop, and files. It will make your next week SO much better
Libra –
Positives: Charming. Charismatic. Very interesting in making sure things are fair. Very social. Great at building relationships.
Negatives: Very indecisive. Has a hard time being alone. Obsessed with justice and fairness.
Work advice: Libras are people-people. You want to be around people, work with people, coauthor, teach, etc. You don’t want to just spend all day by yourself in a room. You are a people-pleaser, but this can backfire as you try to please everyone. This can also mean that getting work published SUCKS. You need to let go of the idea that everyone will like your work. Because everyone won’t.
Coauthoring: You are really good at building relationships with people, which pays off in developing networks with people and working with a broad set of individuals. At the same time, Libras are fucking bad at making decisions – this can be good (coauthors can make decisions for you!) or bad (everyone gets mad at you as you are stuck in a rut).
Pro #MHAWS tip: Libras love balance. Try to set up clear boundaries between work and play – and watch for tipping too far over into either one. Libras can be work-obsessive or lazy AF – balance keeps both tendencies at bay.
Scorpio –
Positives: Career focused. Accepts responsibilities. Fiercely independence. Can figure out others motives.
Negatives: Holds grudges. Hates it when others flake on their responsibilities. Sometimes too focused on small tasks.
Work advice: You are super ambitious and career oriented. You often understand others motivations before they themselves understand it. You are really really at delivering on your promises. Super focused: a laser lasering another laser. But you also don’t really get it when people want to chat or catch up and have little time for idle gossip or chitchat. This means that people often don’t like you, find you standoffish, or intimidating.
Coauthoring: Honestly, this is hard for you. While you understand other people and can figure out what they need or want, they can often just get in your way. Your focus and independence, along with your sometimes prickly/asshole nature and your obsession with small slights, all mean that you should choose to work with others with a lot of care… and maybe just fly solo.
Pro #MHAWS tip: Engage in regular planning to make sure that your career is going exactly as you’d like. You can meet your goals… if you set them.
Positives: Makes decisions. Morally grounded. Highly loyal – both to others and to their convictions. Straightforward. Funny.
Negatives: Too proud. Is very bothered when others don’t make decisions or take decisions seriously. Know-it-alls.
Work advice: If you need someone to make a decision, ask a fucking Sag. If you need someone to come in and clean house in a morally corrupt organization, ask a fucking Sag. If you need someone who will be loyal to you, even if you are a bit of asshole, go find a Sag. We (that’s right –Mirya Rocket Holman is a Sag) are also annoying know-it-alls, hate being wrong, and are waaay too proud.
Coauthoring: Sags (the zodiac sign, not the tits) like to coauthor and are good coauthors. Team plays, they are very loyal and conscientious coauthors, as long as you let them get their way every now and again. They can deflate personality issues with humor. They are also great planners.
Pro #MHAWS tip: A happy Sagittarius is an entertained Sagittarius. Figure out a way to keep your mind engaged – even with boring tasks – and you will be way happier doing research.
Positives: Predictable. Loves to find and form productive habits. Thrives off routine and getting shit done. Always meets deadlines. Generous.
Negatives: Can’t handle change. Not great at interpersonal relationships. Prone to dictatorial style.
Work advice: Capricorn! You are a creature of HABIT. You like to know exactly what to expect, and are great at keeping yourself and everyone else on track. You thrive off of routine but can also figure out the grand scope of the project and all the steps needed to get from here to there.
Coauthors: You are an ambitious and generous coauthor. Your practicality allows you to break down and assign tasks, set and meet deadlines, and enforce a "by-the-book" methodology. Some coauthors will like this. Some won’t. Find the ones who dig your style. Also, you HATE abrupt change, so find coauthors who won’t engage in that shit.
Pro #MHAWS tip: Capricorns might be called little dictators because you want to tell everyone what to do. This is why you are a good teacher, but a less successful administrator. Seek out environments where you can tell people what to do and they will listen to you.